My Blog

how can you love someone when he loves someone? it is like drowning in the middle of the sea, struggling for your life while someone is at the shore just watching you die.. it’s like you stab your own heart bleeding to death it’s like you are waiting for nothing it’s like you are waiting a bus in the train station… it’s like taking a path leading to nowhere.. it’s like watching someone happy with someone else while your own heart bleeds to death.. it’s like going to a battle where you don’t know if you can survive.. it’s like jumping in the 24 story building.. it’s like committing a suicide in your own bed using you own hands.. it is like you wanna dive in the deepest ocean without life jacket on and you don’t know how to swim.. it is like hugging someone who don’t really exist.. why waste time loving someone who doesn’t love you back.. why not save your love to someone who deserve you and give your love back.. LIfe is too short to be wasted with someone whi doesn’t deserve it..

i never forget the first time you flashed those beuatiful smile that take my heart away
you walk to me and smile like i never seen it before,
i was captivated with your smile that makes my heart sing the most romantic song,
i was mesmerized by your smile that i forget how to breathe.
those piercing cute eyes makes your smile perfect.
perfect that i couldn’t ask for more.
with your smile it makes my day worthwhile.
oh! how nice to see you smile..
the smile that mend every heartaches and pain,
the smile which i always wanted to see,
the smile that i long everyday,
the smile bound with love and care,
the smile that launches a thousand story,
the smile that dried the tears up,
the smile that makes everything right,
the smile that makes everything perfect,
the smile that makes my heart dance in the most beautiful song.
the smile that win my heart and i will never forget it forever..

what is destiny has to do with our life? does destiny will bring us "happily ever after" ending? Some believe in destiny others don’t but whatever may our side of the story we have our own decision and story of life.

when two people met and realize that there is somehow a connection between them the first time they met.. ain’t that destiny? or is it when u are attracted to the person u just met? i remember the movie "serendipity" when two people met by chance shopping with their significant others.. SPent a romantic night with each other hoping that somehow fate will bring them together.. they were separated with time, distance and obligations with their significant others that frustrate them to lose hope force them to believe destiny is not in their way. But with the help evident signs of their fate and destiny they both made a decision to find each other while sacficing their future. Somehow a lot challenges came to their way while searching for their destiny to reunite them together but believing that they will find what they’ve been searching for made them reunited.

somehow, the movie made me realize that destiny ain’t that destiny at all if u don’t made a choice to look for the right person that your mind and heart is yelling for. Why would u rather spent your life with someone who can’t make u happy; or with someone who’s priority is not you; or someone who don’t care ’bout u; or someone full of lies, cheatin, and mistreatin. REALATIONSHIPS doesn’t last long if we don’t made a decision to KEEP IT REAL, FIGHT FOR IT, and WORK IT. Some failed b’coz they choose to set each other free and look for the one they wanna spent with their life with. DESTINY is a matter of CHOICE - a TWO WAY STREET where u are caught in the middle which way you wanted to take. Afraid to take a step on one of the two way only find out in the end that you were wrong. Afraid that u might regret u choose the wrong way instead the other way for ’twas that way makes u happy. But in the end, always choose the way you think will make u "happy ever after". ‘COz in every decision we made we always sacrifice something that is valuable to us. We always take a risk to find the important thing or person we are waiting for. In each sacrifice we learn to be strong and confident that makes us a better person. Try not to forget the lessons u have learned for it will always teaches and lead you the right decision.

Now, do believe destiny really happened?

if you are to choose your ideal girl with different personality, which one will you choose? WHY?

A.) a girl whose face can launch a thousand ships, kind-hearted, caring, loving but hard headed and stubborn sometimes….

B.) a girl who is not so pretty but not so ugly, down to earth, sweet, humble, hardworking, calm, a type of girl who can make a good wife…

C.) a girl who will do everything just to make her special someone happy to the point that she makes her self a fool…

D.) a pretty, sexy girl kind of girl who is a happy go lucky kind but generous…

E.) a girl next door type who is beautiful and smart in such a way that she is not show-off of how smart she is.

F.) a girl who is witty and wacky that can make her friends laugh in times of sadness.

G.) a girl who is simple and open-minded (who can accepts someone’s dark secrets and weaknesses wholeheartedly) yet can make guy’s head twist .

They always told me that someday
somehow i will find the right perfect
guy for me.. but when is the time i
can say that he is the right for me?
or is there such thing as a perfect
time for me to say that he is the
right guy for me? how do i know that
he is the right guy for me??.. they
say you just know and feel it if he is
the right man for you.. if u are happy
and u wanna spend the rest of ur life
with him… if u love that person, is
it enough to say the he is the right
man for you? does love alone enough to
say that he is the right guy for and
your ready to settle down?

questions maybe unaswered now.. i just
hope someday i will find the answer…
i hope and pray that i am wise enough
to choose the right man for me… so
that there is no room for regrets if
situation become worst.. strong enough
to face the challenges in love and
life… brave enough to make right
decisions….

Do you know how does a broken heart be whole again? How can be a broken heart be mended and healed? Time past, but the memories will always be in our heart and mind.. through the years i always search of the answer of my trouble questions. So many years has past yet the question is left unanswered. How can a broken pieces of me be whole again when after all these years i can’t find the answer… It’s been half a decade now that i keep on holding the memories we have in the past. There are moments in my life that i feel i am invisible that i feel numb not to noticed the pain inside of me. Through my happiest moment in life, still there is a broken pieces of me that i can’t fix to be whole again. I laugh a lot but still broken heart is not whole again. Everytime i smile i remember your sweet teasing smile. Everytime i hear laughter i reminisce those times we share our laughters. Everytime i hear the song you used to sing to me everyday, makes me miss u so much. i wanted to cry everytime your face lingers in mind but i run out of tears to cry. i am like a fool who doesn’t know how to heal a wound that was wounded by bad memories. i am stupid enough to always feel the pain inside me, can’t find a way to ease it. i may be strong outside but i know deep inside me i am so weak that i wanted to stop the suffering long time ago. oh! can a single scar be healed by time? How can i be me again when all my questions are still unaswered? Hope, wishes, fate, chances, prayers and destiny may not come in my way, i will always be thankful to you for you thought me a lot of lessons, valuable things and reasons to be strong each day. As i have promise to you before, i will always continue to SMILE, LAUGH, ENJOY LIFE and find my TRUE LOVE no matter what it takes and no matter how lonely life is. I will manage to smile everyday hoping that someday somehow questions will be answered and pain will go away. Where you are right now, i hope and pray that you find your own happiness. And if someday our path will cross again i just hope that the broken pieces of me is whole again and that my broken heart is full of happiness and LOVE.

sitting lonely in my room thinking ’bout the memories we had is my fave things i love to do as well as my lonely moment too… how you came into my life? how fate and coincidence brought us together. You taught me how to love for i haven’t known love back then.. You showered me with love that i never thought i gonna miss it through the years… How will i ever forget the guy who brought me so much happiness in my life… Teaching the innocent me to reveal my ownself and just to be of who i am; to help me to how to be a grown up lady; how to fight back my fears in life. It was a strange feeling that i feel i have known you already before you flash to me the smile that i will never forget over and over as it alwas lingers in my mind. You take care of me more than i can imagine of.. You never take advantage of the fact the i wasn’t known love when i met you.. You were the bravest man i know when you ask my auntie personally to go out with you.. It was sweet of you to treat me like precious thing though sometimes i admit i make foolish and selfish decisions… Still, you embrace the whole me as who i am.. It is so sweet of you to pick me up at school after class like a possessive older brother that you wanted me to be safe home.. You do little things that made me happy. You treated me like a woman, a lady and a grown up special someone… You we’re my bestfriend, my buddy, my adviser, my older bro as i always wish… but you were my SWEET FIRST KISS that brought butterflies in my stomach… Funny, isn’t it? The impact of your first kiss will always remain in me as your soft lips touches my innocent lips.

BUt everytime i got to think of it, i regret myself for i take you for granted. It made realized how stupid i am to let you go without telling you how much i cared about you. I wasted the time because of my self-centeredness. How foolish i am not to noticed how deep is your love and intention to me. It makes me sick everytime i got to think of you for i know i can’t turn back time. How i wanted to turn back that time and made the right thing that will make me happy for the rest of my life. I shouldn’t listen to my friends for their negativeness. I shouldn’t be selfish enough to choose my study before you. I should have fight back my greatest fear of letting down my parents. I should have known that you are the one that i always dream of in my dreams every night. It makes me sick that i haven’t given love that you deserve to have. You have given me so much love but i haven’t given you much love i have received. Regrets makes me weak inside but i know i can do nothing to change it and correct my mistakes as much as i wanted to. Thinking of you everynight, suffering the consequences of my selfishness is the sweet agony i have which is perhaps my punishment, too. It’s been 5 and half years but still your memory is still with me. Darn! I should follow what my mind tell what to do and who my heart yells for. But, like what you said to me before: "If we are destined to each other we will always meet at the right time and place no matter where we go, no matter how far we go and no matter how old we are". I guess i just to hold on to it and hope someday we will meet but if God won’t allow it then i guess i just to say to him "thank you for giving me a like you; a guy who taught me everything i should know". 

hehave you experienced falling in love for the first time? Do you still remember the feeling you fall in love for the first time? People said first love never dies… Ah, nothing compares to first love.. First love is a great memory that will always make us smile.. it is when you laugh at urself on how you innocently handle LOVE without any experienced at all. You never forget those memories that will always be part of you… You will never forget the feeling to be loved and how you love someone who is actually a stranger for you. It make u smile everytime who got to think about it. It was when you are not afraid to take a risk because you rather want to enjoy the joy of love than not experience it at all. But no matter what, first love will always be part of the past that will always be a memory… A memory you learn to be caring, understanding, sweet, brave and cry at times. It open us to the reality that Love does exist and it is a feeling that we supposed to enjoy. First love may not be necessary the love you deserve to have for the rest of your life. First is love may not be your true love you will have.

my dearest friend joy,

the frist time i saw you
my heart skipped a beat
at that very moment
you swept me off my feet.

how incredible feeling
i always longed to have
with that different spark within me
say, could this be love?

i couldn’t find an answer
to that question in my head
until i find myself rewinding
every single word you said

no amount of roses, chocolates
or bears can accurately show you
how much i truly care
and how much you mean to me.

i know know you wouldn’t believe me now
for i am just a simple guy
whom you think who doesn’t care
a guy who will always be there for you.

i’d like to get to know you hoping you’d feel the same way
i hope you see my effort
to prove to you how much i care.

i wanna show you everything,
things who deserve to be
i wanna give you the love i know
hoping you will let do it in my own way.

years will come and go
i hope it’s not too late
because no matter how long it takes
you’re truly worth the wait.

for you, i”l even take the risk
to climb the highest rocks
because for me…
you are the sweetest thing
inside my chocolate box.

you are my everything… a treasured thing of my life.

"Don’t Leave Me"

I’ll go for miles
Till I find you
You say you want to leave me
But you can’t choose
I’ve gone thru pain
Every day and night
I feel my mind is going insane
Something I can’t fight
A blank expression
Covering your face
I’m looking for directions
For out of this place
I start to wonder
If you’ll come back
I feel the rain storming after thunder
I can’t hold back

Don’t leave me

-got from the person who used to be my special someone-